Trapped by the black dog

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

Confucius. Ancient Chinese philosopher

66days till the 2016 Virgin Money London Marathon

And ive hit somewhat of a brick wall. After Sundays knee pain shortened to 15 miles but planned 20miles I took the day off from running on Monday. I was going to try with 2 days off work a 15miler on both Tuesday and Wednesday morning to set me up for a good week but little did I know the big black nasty dog of depression may affect my motivation.  It had slowly crept up on me, stalking me through Sundays run (I hadnt really been up fot it before going out the door) and closed fast Monday.  By Tuesday morning it had pounced and was firmly sinking his fangs in my back while holding me down.  I certainly got ready to go but after dropping Lucas off at Nursery I went home telling myself I would go out in a bit in the sunny but still cold winter morning. I never did and it was such a nice day to run.

Wednesday came with its change of weather. Wet, cold and definitely uninviting out there coupled with the weight of the black dog on me it was never going to happen. Lucas and I was meeting my mother after he finished nursery so I put on the happy mask I had been wearing for lucas & Emma since Sunday and met her. 

The hardest part of depression is admitting you have it and talking to others.  You cant just ‘snap out it’ so you sit in your own personal prison pretending your fine. Sometimes you dont even realise the black dog has you till he’s on you stopping you do what you need to do. Personally im going to try to shake him off by trying to run 50miles over the next 4 days.  this will hopefully pick me up. I’ll let you know how it goes in a few days.

The above is why im running VMLM2016 in aid of MIND the mental health charity. Please, please, please donate here on my Justgiving. I may need their services one day. Depression is a silent killer and this woman and little man need me.

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Anyway Bye For Now

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